The coronavirus is something that has overtaken us all. Suddenly we have been confronted with a sea of emotions overflowing with fear, overwhelm, personal and collective sadness.
How many days have you been in confinement? One week, two weeks, three weeks, more? I start my week three, I could say that I have already gone through most of the emotions described in the Kubler Ross model of grief: Denial - Anger - Bargaining - Depression - Acceptance.
And we will surely continue to move for a while in this mix of emotions and sensations, each one from his moment, his reality and his feeling. However, there is an unquestionable truth: **Everything passes. So does the coronavirus.
To go through this quarantine period understanding and knowing the tasks of [grief](/holistic-holistic-transpersonal/ grief-therapy/) and the emotions that may arise along the way, is one of the keys to the emotional management of this moment, as it is in any grief process. Everything begins and everything has an end, it allows us to understand that, in every change, no matter how difficult it may seem, there are always opportunities for inner learning, for growth, for advancement.
We are not all going to feel the same, nor at the same time, nor in the same way. And this I want to emphasize, this is a UNIQUE and challenging process where each of the emotions involved help us to come to terms with the loss and learn to integrate the meaning of the loss into our lives.
We have some tasks ahead of us to elaborate the process, following Worden's Model and the grieving tasks.
**STEP 1: Accepting the reality of the loss.
One of the first reactions in grief is shock and/or denial. That was the beginning of this process, we all in some way I think we all went through it.
Perhaps we had the hope that this would not come to us and a strong sense of disbelief that is usually short lived. Our mind may pretend to pretend reality has not happened, or not near our stage, as a defense mechanism that seeks to manage and elaborate in small doses a reality that proves painfully overwhelming. Phrases such as "China is too far away", "it's not going to get here", "it's just another flu", "it's just another flu", "it's just another flu". It's just another flu", "they are exaggerators", etc._.
Intellectual acceptance of this period marks the moment when we are ready to begin our healing and elaboration journey (https://youtu.be/AANXUmyHjt0). Denial of its significance as well as its irreversibility prolongs the process. If we ignore this task, the feelings of anger, fear and lack of control do not disappear but accumulate in our heart. **By recognizing them and talking about them, we have the opportunity to understand them and put them in perspective.
TRELEASE 2: Working out the change*.
Sometimes it is tempting to avoid the pain involved in the situation we are experiencing by escaping behind dozens of activities that prevent you from stopping for a few minutes to reflect, explore and experience your emotions. Then we start to hear phrases such as "you must be strong" or "you must keep busy, fill your day with activities and not think about what is happening". I think in some way we all go through this moment the first week: Lots of things to do, movies, videos, visits to museums, classes, etc.
The reality is that in addition to fear, anger, there is anguish, hopelessness, sadness and even guilt. The numbers of sick and deceased people make our hair stand on end, fear has become contagious, the symptom is closer and closer to our reality (friends, acquaintances, people affected or ourselves). It is a time to confront reality.
This will perhaps be the longest time to go through, given the uncertainty of the scenario ahead of us. In addition to the various duels, not only for death that you have to elaborate but the duels of the various losses that we are having in the day to day (work, freedom, role, status, etc).
It is time to allow yourself to experience and express your feelings. Anger, fear, helplessness, loneliness, sadness and anxiety are some of the usual feelings during this transition. Also, this process can cause physical and mental exhaustion, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, muscle aches, and difficulty concentrating and making decisions. **The good news is that deserts can also be abandoned.
It is important that during this demanding period you pay attention to your personal care: eat well, get enough sleep, be physically active and share your feelings with others. In this case, companionship and attentive listening will be essential as well as the emotional support of a therapist. Remember that many times our loved ones do not know what to do or what to say in the face of the pain that overwhelms us.
Given the situation, this adaptation will take place at different times:** **.
Right now we are in the process of adapting to the new scenario: confinement, we are making all kinds of internal and external adjustments necessary to adapt to a "new reality".
After the whole process is over and when we go back to the street, a new process of adaptation and reorganization will appear as we begin to identify and deal with the changes that occur in the economic, social, family, etc. reality. It will be a time of transiting in the desert. During the task of adaptation, you may feel fear, guilt or anger at the new scenario, assume roles that were previously performed by someone else (now I have to cook all day, I work with the children, I have nothing to do, I do not feel useful if I do not work, I do not know what to do). This process of readjustment will be carried out at the same time that the implications of the loss are recognized in order to gradually reach an agreement with all the gaps, real or symbolic, that this process has created in our lives.
STEP 4: Relocating emotionally.
This relocation consists of moving from feelings of loss and longing to new feelings that allow us to be able to move on. Therefore, this task involves gradually ceasing to invest a great deal of our emotional energy in what was in order to reinvest it in the present, the here and now: We normalize reality. **# STEP 4: Emotional relocation This task involves moving from feelings of loss and longing to new feelings that allow us to be able to move on.
It is essential to continue living with meaning and purpose. It is about staying connected with life, with the learnings that this period has left, with the changes that you have had to make and perhaps those that will arise in the reality of each person, each family.
And after the passing of this "hurricane " new times will come, with new realities, new joys, sadness, new problems. The more we are aware of what we have lived and learned, the more we will grow as individuals, as a collective, as a society. And we will be ready for a new cycle, with new stories to tell.
Note: remember that these stages are not linear. They have a unique time, place or manifestation for each person.
SOURCES:
http://www.maine.gov/suicide/docs/Survivor-Kit/Tasks-Grief.pdf
http://www.medicinenet.com/loss_grief_and_bereavement/page2.htm
Manejodelduelo.com interview with Thanatologist and Professional Counselor Edu Emilia Sáez. Year 2021
With love,
Alejandra León,
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Your support is essential to our growth! If you have found value in our content and would like to be part of this transformational journey, we invite you to make a contribution. Every small gesture counts and helps us continue to share inspiring insights - join us on this mission and help us flourish together! 🌱✨ You can make your contribution at the link: http://paypal.me/TerapiaAlejandra.
Thank you for being part of our growing and expanding community! 🙏🌟
If you would like to explore more about Holistic Healing, energy healing and grief, I invite you to visit the following links that will provide you with valuable information:🧚♂
🌟 Healing and Accompaniment during the Bereavement Process
🙏 Discover your true value and cultivate a healthy self-esteem with Holistic Psychology
🧘♂️ Want to hear more Affirmations. A wonderful gift for your soul.
📆 The number of sessions is decided by you, depending on your process.