If your mother has never comforted you, you will most likely find it difficult to find true heart comfort in your relationships with others. YOUR JOB will be to create that sense of heartfelt comfort within yourself.
If your mother has never sympathized with you, you will in all likelihood have little patience for your own human failings as well as those of others. YOUR JOB will be to observe someone who practices compassion, and to practice it yourself.
If your mother silenced your creativity. YOUR JOB will be to give voice to every creative impulse that arises. Paint, write poetry, drum, tend plants, cook and dance.
If your mother despised or rejected her own body as a woman. YOUR JOB is to embrace and honor your body and your sexuality.
If you felt abandoned by your mother for whatever reason, including depression or alcoholism. YOUR JOB will be to listen to your feelings and never abandon yourself.
If you have any unresolved issues with your mother and she has died or become emotionally incapacitated, you can write her a letter (which you will keep or send to yourself) expressing your grief and anger at not having a NURTURING mother, and tell her that you HAVE come to ACCEPT and UNDERSTAND her as she was. Then you can feel grateful for her presence in your life.
We all carry the weight of our mother so it is necessary to heal the mother/daughter rift whether your mother is alive or not, in order to heal the deep wound of your feminine nature. The key element lies in YOU becoming a GOOD MOTHER yourself. With that idea in mind, take on the task of BEING MATERNAL TO YOURSELF.
I know from my own experience, I am a daughter of the father whose mother emotionally rejected her, and I have continued to seek the motherly affection I never received from her, now in my twenties and thirties, and trying to gain the attention and approval of female mentors older than myself, such as Polly Mc Vickar and Dr. Jean Houston. I have also continued to reach out to my mother to understand and accept her. Sometime in my early forties, I came to terms with the fact that I would never receive the kind of guidance and love from my mother that I dreamed of. Although I continued to befriend maternal women, I mourned the loss of the dream I so longed for, accepted the loss, and let her go. As I was writing this book, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease; as the disease progresses and she becomes more "childlike" and more innocent, I am becoming my mother's mother.
When you stop looking for healing from a source outside of yourself, you can:
- Begin to cultivate your own unique feminine sensitivity, leaving a place to listen to your feelings and respond to them.
- Listen to your body and respect its limits.
- Listen to your intuition and not leave it behind.
- Listen to the voice of your creativity and respect every aspect of yourself that wants to express itself in every moment.
- Take care of your health and make decisions that enrich you. At the same time that you are developing a way to respond to your own inner life, you can take the necessary steps in the outer world by doing the following:
- Put your dreams into action. For example, if you dream of becoming a great writer, go to a writing course, make time in your weekly or daily schedule to write, and write! If you want to change careers, look for alternatives at the library or invest in yourself by going to a specialized center.
- Get hands-on: take care of plants, get a massage, make bread, observe nature's cycles and be aware of your biorhythms and their relationship to seasonal cycles.
- Cultivate and support your female friendships.
- Join a women's group; healing happens in the feminine womb.
- Visit the library or bookstore and check out books in which to research the sacred feminine.
- Participate in the enrichment of your community.
Article based on interpretation of Maureen Murdock's book "Being a Woman. A Heroic Journey."
Other related posts
The Journey of the Heroic Woman Part One
Being a Woman a Heroic Journey. Part Three
Being a Woman a Heroic Journey. Part Two
You may be at the beginning of the journey, you may be halfway, you may be in a moment of struggle, change, integration Whatever moment you are in, remember that it is not necessary to walk the path alone.
I hope this information has been useful to you, and if you want to work on your emotions and process, do not hesitate to get in contact.
Thank you for reading and sharing.
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