Many times when we find ourselves in a grief process and search the web we do not come across Elizabeth Kubles Rooss' approach to the 5 stages of grief. However, as we move forward in research there appear renewed approaches and looks on how to overcome the loss of a loved one, one of them is the William Worden, who describes four tasks of grief in his book " [THE TREATMENT OF GRIEF ".(https://www.amazon.es/tratamiento-del-duelo-Asesoramiento-Psicoterapia/dp/8449326095/ref=sr_1_1?__mk_es_ES=ÅMÅŽÕÑ&keywords=worden+bereavement&qid=1574701307&s=books&sr=1-1). In it, they describe the mechanisms and procedures that a person must use to face and go through the loss of his grief.
Although the focus of Worden's work is after the loss by death, it is important to emphasize that these 4 Tasks of grief are applicable to any grief process:
- Grief over dashed dreams.
- Grief over breakup with partner..
- Grief when children get married.
- Grief due to personal changes experienced with age (losses).
- Grief due to the consequences of an accident.
- Grief due to changes of city, school, home, country. Migratory grief
- Grief after a love breakup
- Bereavement due to the loss of a pregnancy (Perinatal bereavement
- Mourning for the death of a child.
- Bereavement for the death of a father.
- Bereavement for the death of a mother.
- Bereavement for a sibling, a friend.
- Anticipated grief due to illness.
- Bereavement for the death of a pet.
Worden suggests that it is necessary to work out these four tasks "complete the grieving process " and "restore balance." He makes it clear that these are in no particular order, although there is some natural order. He acknowledges that people may need to revisit certain tasks over time, that grief is not linear, and that it is difficult to determine a timeline for completing grief tasks.
First task: Accept the reality of loss.
There are basic ways one can accept the reality of a loss: go through the rituals of a funeral or memorial, begin to talk (and think) about the person in the past tense, etc. On a more complex level, one accepts the reality of the importance of the loss. For example, one may talk about someone in the past tense and accept their death, but may minimize the importance of one's relationship with that person, denying the impact the loss will have.
At a basic level, they may have accepted the reality of the loss, but at a deeper level, they will not have accomplished this task until they have fully accepted the depth of the relationship and the impact it has had.
Another common struggle with this task is the acceptance of the mechanism of death. A death by suicide, overdose, or other stigmatized death may present challenges in accomplishing this task if family or friends cannot acknowledge or accept the reality of how the person died.
Second task: Working through the emotions and grief of loss.
Rather than trying to identify all the grief emotions one may experience and need to resolve, Worden's model recognizes that each person and each loss will mean working through a range of different emotions. From sadness, fear, loneliness, despair, hopelessness, guilt, shame, relief and many others, there are many emotions that a bereaved person struggles with. The important thing in this task is to recognize, talk about and understand these complex emotions in order to overcome them. The danger, of course, is to deny feelings and avoid them. This tendency may be exacerbated by society's discomfort with the feelings that accompany grief, so that the bereaved may feel that they should not feel or acknowledge these emotions.
Third task. Adapt to a new environment in which the other person (situation) is absent **Third task.
Adapting to the environment. Worden recognizes that this task can also mean very different things to people depending on the relationship of the person who died (situation that has been lost) , as well as the roles that are affected by the loss. This readjustment occurs over an extended period of time and may require internal adjustments, external adjustments, and spiritual adjustments. It can take a significant period of time just to realize the different roles your loved one performed or the internal and spiritual adjustments that are required. This can be especially difficult for widows, who may need to learn a wide range of new skills and tasks, ranging from paying bills, raising children and caring for the home, to environmental changes, such as living alone, doing things alone and redefining the self without the other person. This may also mean adapting to a new spiritual environment, which may have been changed by the experience of death. This task requires the development of the skills necessary to move confidently through the altered environment: internal, external and spiritual.
Fourth task. Emotionally repositioning the deceased and continuing to live **Fourth task.
The essence of task four is this: find an appropriate and ongoing connection in our emotional lives with the person who has died while allowing us to continue living. Like the other tasks, this can mean different things to various mourners. But it often means pgiving up thoughts and memories, while beginning to engage meaningfully in things that bring pleasure, new things, or new relationships.( For Worden, to fail to accomplish this task is to fail to live. It is the feeling that life stopped when that person died and that one cannot resume life in a meaningful way, with a different sense of connection to the person who has died.
This last task can be time consuming and one of the most difficult to accomplish. So, there it is in a nutshell. For Worden, grieving is successfully completed when one has completed all four tasks.
These are certainly useful and relevant tasks, but if you feel you have not completed them, that is no reason to panic. Grieving not only hurts, it also takes time.
What do you think about Worden's theory? Leave a comment to let us know!
I ask you today, **what do you need to let go of?
- Letting go of the love of your life
- Letting go of a loved one
- Letting go of a love
- Letting go of who doesn't love you
- Letting go of a pet
- Letting go of someone you love
- Letting go of your ex
- Letting go of fearss
- Letting go of negative thoughts
- Dejar ir relaciones toxicas
- Dejar ir el rencor
- Letting go of resentment
- Letting go and forgiveness
If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one, we invite you to explore our course "Grieving: How to Overcome the Loss of a Loved One ". You will learn practical and enriching tools from a holistic perspective to cope with and heal grief, find emotional balance and transform loss into wisdom.
We also invite you to be part of our course "Grief and Loss Support from a holistic perspective". If you wish to provide support to those going through grief and loss, this course will provide you with the necessary tools and knowledge to offer a compassionate and enriching accompaniment from a holistic vision.
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